Seriously, Apple?

After years of providing a wholly deficient Siri, Apple finally waived the white flag. Its stunning deal with Google in last November represented a public admission that it couldn't independently build the contemporary AI chatbot its customers demanded. No more half measures, such as handing Siri queries off to ChatGPT. Time to rip the Band-Aid off. A new bespoke version of Gemini would power, in Apple's words, a “profoundly more capable and personal assistant.”

I expect bluster from tech companies, especially Apple. Over the past six months, I'll admit that I bought into the hype. David Pogue called it a “phone-changer” while rock star Joanna Stern described it as “very good.” Oodles of other reviewers echoed their sentiments.

I wish I could agree with these luminaries. As I'll explain in this post, Siri AI is off to a shaky start. Ditto for Apple's new operating systems.

Grievances With Siri AI

In no particular order, the redesigned chatbot is:

• Far slower than its predecessor—something that many Apple users have noticed.
• Unable to remember basic device settings. For instance, I want to send messages immediately (re: without confirmation). I've already disabled this setting on all my devices, but Siri didn't get the memo. Add this one other to the list of known bugs Apple has to fix.
• Flat-out dumb. So much for Apple's highly touted on-screen awareness.

Visual Intelligence misidentified my iPhone's Moft kickstand as a MagSafe battery from the same company. Finally, Siri AI is also inconsistent AF. One minute it will tell me my daily steps. Ten minutes later, the chatbot informs me that it lacks sufficient permissions to do so. There seems to be no discernible pattern.

Perhaps the issues stem from the fact that I'm technically still in Siri AI beta. When Apple finally removes that tag, my problems may abate.

Beyond Siri

And it's not just the newfangled version of Siri that's grinding my gears. Over the last two weeks, I've experienced the following snafus features with my Apple hardware and software.

• My iPhone typically does not reflect workouts started on my new Apple Watch and vice versa. Five minutes into a HIIT session my watch asks me if I want to start a workout.
• Speaking of workouts, Apple has let users connect their devices to gym equipment for nearly a decade. I've never felt the need, so I disabled the feature. One issue: Apple seems to forget that I've disabled the feature. Often during a class I'll receive multiple prompts to connect to my treadmill when none should appear.
• Shortcuts are a freakin' mess. Ones that seamlessly worked for years suddenly do. As but one example, you can no longer launch a workout from a shortcut.
• Continuity features have become much flakier.
• In its infinite wisdom, Apple's senior brass decided to kill the Apple Watch app switcher. (To the company's credit, Apple has recognized the snafu, and it will return soon. I'm reminded here of the Microsoft Windows 8 Start Button uproar.)
• Latency on Apple Music is absurd. Playing a song frequently results in a three- to five-second delay. (Hey, at least Apple's consistent. Strong Wi-Fi and cell connections don't seem to help.)

I could keep going, but you get my point. Even more infuriating, Apple has been promoting this year's OSs as stability enhancements and fixes in the vein of Snow Leopard.

I've logged a few of these issues in Apple's Feedback Assistant.

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Phil SimonPhil Simon

Seasoned techies like me know not to expect perfection from software. Still, the slew of issues I've encountered right out of the gate frustrates the hell out of folks who expect more from your products and services.

Simon Says

Get it together, Apple. Take a long, hard look at your current regression testing tools and processes. Remember the words of your iconic co-founder.

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